Compassionate care in our hardest moments

Clair Plant shares her family’s story of great love and loss

In September 2022, our world was turned upside down when my mum, Susan Croft, was diagnosed with stage 4 oesophageal cancer.

In the very same week, my dad, Peter, received a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer. Both were told their illnesses were palliative, and they began treatment; my mum with chemotherapy and radiotherapy, and dad with radiotherapy alone.

Susan Croft with granddaughter, Shannon

Clair with Dad, Peter

Incredibly, both of them responded well. Mum, in particular, faced every setback with courage and grace. Despite enduring a feeding tube she hated, endless scans, and invasive procedures, she never once gave up.

Dad too defied the odds, and even the doctors were amazed at how well they were doing.

But in December 2023, our journey took a painful turn. We were told Mum’s cancer was extremely aggressive. She became very unwell, and The Christie Hospital made the difficult decision to stop all treatment.

As mum’s strength faded and she began sleeping downstairs, we had an open, emotional conversation. She told me that when the time came, she would be happy to go into Bury Hospice.

Her palliative care nurse, Mel, was a constant support and assured us that, when the moment was right, she would make it happen.

Then, in January 2024, we were given a glimmer of joy when my daughter, Shannon, got engaged.

Mum lit up; she declared without hesitation: “I’m going to be at that wedding no matter what.” Her one wish was to see Shannon in her wedding dress.

We moved quickly, knowing time was precious. We booked an appointment at Bury Hospice’s, Brides of Bury, because there was never any doubt that that’s where we’d go.

The three of us went together. The staff were wonderful, kind, and patient. Though it wasn’t the usual bridal experience because Mum was in a wheelchair and extremely weak, it was perfect in its own way.

Shannon was so happy we could share the experience together. Mum insisted on paying for the dress; that meant everything to her.

Susan, Clair, and Shannon out wedding shopping

During this time, my husband’s father, Keith, became gravely ill while celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary in Spain. We rushed there to be with him and my Mother-in-Law.

Sadly, he passed away. All the while, I was torn, worrying about my own mum back home.

When we returned, to our surprise, Mum seemed brighter, the best she’d been in weeks. We had a holiday planned, and she insisted we go. We left on the Friday but by Sunday, Mel called.

Mum had taken a turn for the worse, and Mel had arranged a place for her at the hospice.

We returned home in the early hours of Wednesday and went straight to be by her side. From the moment we arrived, we were cared for, not just as visitors, but as a family in need. The staff were angels.

For the first time in nearly three years of being my mum’s carer, I was simply her daughter again. I could just be there with her, holding her hand, loving her. As painful as that time was, there was a certain peace in it too. It felt right.

Mum passed away on Thursday, 4th July, with me, Dad, and my husband, Aidy, at her side.

The gratitude I feel for the Bury Hospice team is beyond words. The compassion and dignity in those final days carried us through what was undoubtedly the hardest moment of our lives.

Not long after, at Easter, dad began to decline rapidly. He was admitted to Oldham Hospital, and although we weren’t sure he’d make it home, he did, thanks to the hospice’s community outreach team. Their support continues to guide us.

But perhaps the most touching part of this journey is that Dad got to see Shannon walk down the aisle. She looked beautiful, and we all felt Mum’s presence with us that day.

Shannon on her wedding day

In honour of her Nan, Shannon chose to donate her wedding dress back to the hospice shop, hoping it brings joy to someone else, and helps raise vital funds.

Before this experience, I knew of Bury Hospice, but I didn’t fully understand how deeply it relies on donations, or how important its work truly is.

I hope that by sharing our family’s story, I can help break the stigma around hospice care and show the incredible difference it makes, not just for those at the end of their lives, but for the families who love them.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.